If you’ve read about my experiences with previous therapists, you’ll understand why I was on a quest this year to identify the ingredients for meaningful and effective therapy. What a big year. I learned so much this year, and I want to glean all of the glimmers to optimistically carry with me into 2024. I finished up my fourteenth month in therapy with Charlotte, and some of my favorite podcasts really hit some homeruns. Not only am I going to share my top ten most meaningful podcast episodes of the year, I’m also going to share glimpses into my favorite therapy sessions. As a client with anxiety, neurodivergence, high sensitivity, and complex trauma, here’s what meant the very most to me in therapy for 2023.
Therapy Podcast Episodes of 2023: My Top 10 List
These podcasts knocked it out of the park this year with so many great episodes. No matter your theoretical orientation or your preferred modalities, these are the episodes of 2023 that can boost your efficacy as a therapist, foster trust and safety in your therapeutic relationships, and result in better outcomes for your clients. In no particular order, I’ll summarize why these episodes resonated with me, challenged me, and deeply engaged my mind and my heart:
- Therapy Chat Polyvagal-Informed EMDR with Rebecca Kase; 50 minutes (2023) No matter what type of therapy you practice, this episode is jam-packed with gems regarding rapport, co-regulation, and the therapeutic relationship in trauma therapy: therapists doing their own work, cues of safety, co-regulation, vicarious trauma, building a foundation of safety and comfort, shame, hypervigilant clients, neuroception, and trust.
- Being Well So You Want to be a Therapist? with Forrest Hanson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Lori Gottlieb, Terry Real, and more; 1 hr 45 min (2023) The segment with Dr. Hanson was a masterclass. A mic drop. Everyone considering becoming a therapist should hear it. This was truth-telling at its finest: key traits of good therapists, complacent therapists, mistakes in therapy, emotional intimacy, self-regulation, heal yourself first, messiness, modalities, boundaries, what therapy is actually like, being yourself, human connection, vulnerability, first sessions, career paths, transference, and imperfections.
- Stuck Not Broken How Nervous System Co-Regulation Can Help in Trauma Recovery; 19 minutes (2023) Why do specific people make us feel calmer and more secure? This short episode is like a polyvagal co-regulation magic wand. The biological process of co-regulation is an essential part of healing from trauma. All about how deep connection can help us become unstuck, how helping others achieve a safety state will lower their defenses, and how to give and receive safety cues in therapy and in life.
- The Whole Therapist Nonverbal Communication 31 minutes (2023) The highly-sensitive, feeling, introvert in me loved the discussion of communicating without words and why words are the least important part of the healing process: somatic work, regulation with the therapist, early attachment wounds, grief work, somatic empathy, how words can be dysregulating, sensory information in therapy, moving slowly, attuning to nonverbals, eye contact, and embodiment.
- The CPTSD Podcast Your Inner Parts & Healing from CPTSD 27 min (2023) This is such a quick and applicable episode about IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy as a gentle and effective approach for complex trauma: protector parts and behaviors, exiled parts and pain, the ages and functions of parts, blended parts, triggers, and trust.
- Being Well What Really Helps Trauma? with Dr. Jacob Ham; 1 hr 11 minutes (2023) Dr. Ham will challenge your thinking about trauma therapy technique: a felt sense of connection, parts work, anger, empathy, grief, love, vulnerability, shame, presence, messiness, taking risks, pain, processing trauma, protector parts, individuality, rupture and repair, and authenticity in the therapy room.
- Complex Trauma Recovery Somatic and Attachment-Based EMDR with Adele Martelle; 1 hr 28 minutes (2023) Hot topics in this episode include religious trauma and deconstruction, shame, lack of community, control, resistance, colonization, trauma responses, polyvagal interventions, freeze responses, resourcing with IFS and EMDR, attachment, co-regulation, misdiagnosis, corrective relationships, why somatic therapy feels dangerous in trauma therapy, and the window of tolerance.
- Therapy Chat The Art + Science of EMDR with Rotem Brayer; 43 minutes (2023) EMDR Consultant and author Rotem Brayer discusses: the relational component of EMDR beyond the standard protocol; integrating the therapeutic relationship; evidence-based practices; resourcing during EMDR in a more relational way; healing in therapy happens right brain to right brain; avoiding rigidity in EMDR; the nonverbal aspect of healing trauma; the preparation phase for complex trauma and attachment wounds; parts work; the new generation of EMDR therapy.
- Being Well Complex PTSD and Learning to Live with the Past with Stephanie Foo 60 minutes (2023) Author Stephanie Foo walks us through navigating rupture and repair as a client with CPTSD. Topics in this rich conversation include: workaholism, dissociation, yoga, EMDR, IFS, top-down vs. bottom-up therapy, burn-out, self-criticism, relationship triggers, receiving feedback, intergenerational trauma, vulnerability, unsafe childhoods, strengths, deep empathy, and sensitivity.
- Therapy Chat When to Safely Begin Processing Complex PTSD with EMDR with Dr. Deborah Korn; 50 minutes (2023) This episode is brimming with inspiration and insight from the incredible Dr. Deborah Korn: how trauma work differs from standard therapy; integrating interventions for complex trauma disorders; EMDR; understanding the spectrum of dissociative symptoms; when clients don’t remember sessions; diagnosing dissociation; implicit memories; coping skills vs. transformative healing in therapy.
My Favorite Therapy Sessions of 2023
As 2023 comes to a close, I just want to take time to reflect on the warm feelings and gratitude I have for Charlotte, my therapist of the past fourteen months. She has been one of the best parts of the year. I am probably not the easiest client with all of my hypervigilance, anxiety, neurodivergence, and protector parts. Charlotte has been so consistent in sticking with me through it all, even as I continue to get in my own way. Neither of us is perfect, and we might even frustrate each other sometimes, but I’m just so grateful for her. We have experienced some highs and lows over the past year. Like any relationship in life, therapy relationships will also experience highs and lows. I had one to two sessions with Charlotte each week this past year. Here are some glimpses into my favorite therapy sessions of 2023!
May Lion Hunt Session: It should come as no surprise that trauma therapy is a neurodivergent special interest of mine. So, when Charlotte brought up the lion hunts of our ancestral tribes, my brain was abuzz as our minds connected and we excitedly and dramatically discussed our ancestors dancing around a fire and processing their life-threatening experiences. This conversation made me come alive, and I just loved nerding out with her. It felt like we were on the exact same wavelength and our brains were locked in with one another.
May Neurodivergence Session: This was the session where we aligned and named my neurodivergence. You can read more about that therapy session in this post. We talked about the DSM, ADHD, Autism, IQ, and it was fascinating. The session just flew by. That day, I remember saying, “Charlotte, I’m just getting warmed up. This is fascinating, and I’m not mad about it. I want to continue this conversation–I’m not ready to leave!” And my excited, encourager part emerged and told her how proud I was of her for figuring this out. And we ultimately agreed to agree that we figured it out together.
June Rupture and Repair Session: So–I walked out of our previous session. We were miles apart, and it was too much for me to bear. We both grew more dysregulated, and I tend to have a strong survival response in the form of flight. Later, she sent me thoughtful email. I told her that I was so nervous about returning to this follow-up session, that I had to go back and read her email that everything was okay. She addressed my concerns with me–she didn’t just brush them aside. We could talk about conflict. I am so desperate to talk about conflict in a healthy way. I told her that I felt like a burden. She told me that she thinks we are a good fit for one another, and I agreed. She spoke very kind words to me, and it was so hard to absorb them, but I really tried. We talked about anxiety and grief, which are so relevant for me. I loved this session because it seemed so relaxed, open, slower, and emotionally connecting.
July Special Interest Session: I was feeling a little discouraged today, maybe because I felt like Charlotte perceived me as resistant. I said to her, “You know how you speak the language of anxiety disorders and I speak the language of complex trauma? Sometimes I wish we spoke more of the same language.” When she told me I could send her a podcast to listen to or an article to read so she could better connect with me, I told her that I was feeling a lot of emotion. My eyes filled with tears. She asked me if I was feeling anxious, but I told her, “I’m feeling tearful because it feels like you care. And I’m trying to allow myself to feel it and not push it away.” That meant the world to me. It felt like connection.
October IFS Session: This was our second session of IFS, and it seemed really impactful. While we knew I had this manager part who was constantly keeping me pretty guarded, we were surprised when the manager so willingly agreed to step aside. Then, we encountered a dissociative protector part. While slower-moving, it too agreed to step aside. Were we going to run into a wounded inner child or other exile? In a comedic turn of events, we found the loveable “smartass friend” protector part, and an unexpectedly fun time was had by all.
November Rupture and Repair Session: For the past several weeks, I had been feeling a growing sense of discouragement and disconnection in our therapy. I ultimately sent Charlotte a quick email explaining my feelings and wondering if we should go ahead and terminate at the following session. After her kind response, we met and had such a wonderful session. We talked about difficult parts of ourselves that might be showing up in the room. She said she had consulted with another therapist for a different perspective, and that gave me a huge sense of security. I felt honored that she would go the extra mile–that I was worth it–and I appreciated having a little boost of momentum to give us both more clarity. For this entire session, she was super present, and we were really engaged with one another. Her head and her heart seemed accessible. There was resonance, and we were on the same page. We were talking about a handful of uncertain things, but we were supportive and understanding of one another. Our goals aligned. We were both open and attuned. This felt like a breakthrough. It felt like connection. I didn’t feel alone. I felt like she really saw me.
December EMDR Session: This was our first session of EMDR together, and we both might have been slightly nervous since I had had some bad experiences with EMDR in the past. She was so focused, slow, intentional, and warm. I felt really safe. This was the best EMDR experience I have ever had. It really worked and honestly felt magical. It felt like a huge accomplishment and is difficult to put into words. It’s possibly because I can struggle to be vulnerable, but I didn’t have any protector parts in the way. I was able to completely put my trust in her, and it was such a good feeling. I could actually feel the bilateral process of EMDR working. It was unreal.
Summary
As I look back and reflect, all of these sessions and all of these podcasts share themes of connection and safety. These are key ingredients for trauma therapy. While bottom-up trauma processing is one of my primary goals for 2024, the most important thing for me continues to be a healing therapeutic relationship.